Learning to be a mom and a physiotherapist at the same time

My personal experience that has influenced my experience as a student is falling unexpectedly pregnant at the start of second year. I decided to continue with my course as planned and carried on with third year when he was nearly 3 months old. Initially, it was so hard to leave him to go out on placement, and I had so many worries about going back,

- would I have time to get myself and baby sorted in the morning?

- How am I going to get my placement preparation done of an evening?

- How am I going to be a good mom and a good student?

- Will I be able to do well on placement and with my course work or will I just scrape by?

- How am I going to function when sleep deprived?

- What if I fail and let him and myself down?

- Will my uniform fit? (It didn’t by the way haha!).

These were the questions, any many more, that used to drive my anxiety prior to every placement, assessment, or piece of course work that had to be done. I still don’t have the answers and it is hard work but what I can say is everything works out in the end, because if you want something badly enough you find a way to make it work!

How did people react? I have had very mixed responses from friends, family, university staff and practice educators when I tell people I am a 3rd year physio student with a young baby. Some people are amazed at how I manage and how determined I am to have not deferred anything during the year and others seem shocked that I have had a baby at this point in my career and it feels that they deem me irresponsible and reckless. I feel that I have had to explain myself a few times by saying that my contraception had failed, I wasn’t reckless I just had a decision to make regarding having a baby and university. I worried a lot about applying for jobs because a few people told me not to mention that I had a baby in an interview because it gives negative connotations about your dependability and dedication to physiotherapy. My educators on my most recent placement said that it impresses them because it shows how dedicated I am, how I am able to manage my time and other transferrable skills which will stand me in good stead as a band 5.

I have a very supportive boyfriend of 5 years who I live with, and he supports me to ensure I can get my uni work done and to make sure I get quality time with our son as well. He is patient with the fact that I didn’t have maternity leave like a lot of other mother’s and that I don’t have as much time at times due to balancing university commitments and being a mother. I have had minimal support from family due to coronavirus restrictions, however my partners family are our childcare bubble and they have our son when he is not at the childminder’s and my partner and I are at work. I have a few support networks of ‘lockdown mums’ on social media of mothers with babies a similar age to my son and that has been invaluable due to lack of support from maternity and health visiting services due to the coronavirus.

Advice:

I do have some tips for any other students that may be in a similar situation or struggling with time management, going through something personal all while trying to complete your degree.

· Remember you are a person as well as a physio student:

I used to get so anxious at the thought of running late because of my son having a nappy explosion before leaving for placement (babies always seem to time this perfectly!), or not being able to revise enough or complete research of an evening if he was unsettled. However, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to have personal things going on in your life, and people are usually quite understanding. As long as you show that you are committed, you do work hard and you are trying your best it is unlikely that your educator will be disappointed with you if you turn up 5 minutes late or had to choose to get some sleep instead of staying up all night to do that reading on the rotator cuff muscles, they asked you to do. They are people too, and a lot of people in the team will have personal things going on in their life as well.

· Lists:

I need a list for everything to stay on top of things. It’s a good idea to have a daily list and a weekly list of what you need to achieve. This can be exclusively regarding university work such as ‘complete 250 words of assignment’ or ‘revise arterial blood gases’ or can also be personal things such as ‘meal prep’ or ‘buy nappies’. For university I have it noted down which modules I am currently doing and the date for the assessment or hand in. It helps to have things written down to ensure you don’t miss anything, but I also love ticking things off once they are done!

· Prioritisation and time management:

This is really hard with a young child, but it is so important! Linked in to the previous bullet points, completing tasks that are the most important to do and putting off tasks that aren’t so important is a way to help avoid burn out but to ensure that you are still achieving what you need to. For example, if I had seen a complex patient on placement and there were a few things that I had learnt or wanted to do better I would normally write an in-depth reflection on my experience using a reflective model to aid my learning and to impress my educator (because that’s also important isn’t it). But some nights my son just would not settle, and I hadn’t had time to make dinner or lunch for the next day and certainly didn’t have time to do an in-depth reflection. Instead, I would bullet point what happened or what went well, and then bullet point what I learnt and what I want to improve on. It was so brief, but it enabled me to write it down while it was still fresh in my mind, and demonstrated to my educator that I am eager to learn and improve and I could then discuss with them in more detail if needed, and demonstrated my ability to be critical of my own practice which as an important skill in physiotherapy.

· Stay positive:

It is so easy to get caught up and overwhelmed by everything that it starts to make you feel low, and I am guilty of it at times! But what I try and remember is that the reasons that I am stressed are all positive – I am working towards a degree, and nothing worth having comes easy. I am raising a beautiful boy, and what a privilege it is to have a happy, healthy baby. And if all of this wasn’t hard enough, we are studying in a global pandemic! So, if you have gained a bit of weight recently (or a lot in my case), you don’t exercise as much as you should, you watch a bit too much TV or you don’t have the motivation that you feel you should have – THAT'S OKAY! As long as you allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling, give yourself a little pep talk and do little bits of work as and when you can. The hard work won’t last forever, and it will be so worth it at your graduation.

If you are struggling with uni, take it day by day and remember that your academic personal tutors and all university staff members are there for you if you need support. In each of my placements, my clinical educators would remind me that grades aren’t important, you learn so much once you qualify and that no one ever asks about the grade you got – just that you’ve completed the degree!

Keeping your wellbeing:

Time for yourself as a mother with a young baby completing her final year of university is almost nonexistent! I know that mums can relate to barely having time to wash your hair, never mind implementing self-care. However, I find that I am sometimes able to wind down during the commute to and from placement as I have time to myself and can listen to the radio whilst driving; or I use this time to reflect on my day and plan what I need to do when I get home. Of an evening when my son is in bed, this is when I do my course work or placement prep and get everything prepared for the next day so I often don’t get a chance to relax during the evening because he is often quite unsettled. In the morning, I always wake up early enough to have a cup of coffee and watch the news whilst I get ready because I feel this prepares me for the day (coffee is a must as a student!).

The future: Once I qualify, I plan to have a few weeks off over summer to spend with my baby and then start my band 5 rotations in September time. I have already applied and been offered a job for a trust local to me.

A lot of people have questioned whether I will work full time or part time, and my plan is to work full time because I want to give my all to my career after working so hard to achieve my qualification. I don’t know which area of physiotherapy I want to specialise in as of yet so I want to gather as much experience as a junior as I can. Placement days are hard because I don’t spend much time with my son, when I get home it’s often dinner, bath and bed for him and I miss that quality time and I was worried about it affecting our relationship. It definitely has not, we have the best bond and his little face lights up when I come home which makes it all worth it. I feel that as I become more competent and confident in my role as a physiotherapist, that working full time will become easier and I won’t have as much research and preparation to do at home in my own time. I figure, if I can go on placement full time, come home and complete placement prep, exam prep and assignments then there is no reason why I cannot be a professional physiotherapist like my peers.

It is okay to build a career with a baby on your hip! Laura Fielding

Physiotherapy Student